First Post, and it's only....March?

Now that it's March 25, I finally feel like I have my feet under me enough to maintain a blog (even if I can't always maintain my life in any kind of organized way). Of course, that could just be the end of the PSSAs talking...just like the kids, I kind of feel like the year should be over NOW. If only Pennsylvania made any sense and put their standardized tests at a reasonable time, like, oh, the end of the year. I'm going to try to use this to keep folks updated on my life, but no guarantees.

We began our second round of parent-teacher conferences today, and unlike last time, I do not feel as terrified as I did back in November. Maybe I have finally realized that the murderous looks on the faces of some parents are not directed at me (though the ones on the faces of my failing students might be). However, between the end of PSSAs and parent-teacher conferences, I am realizing how unsatisfied I am with how my year has gone. I realize I still have three months with these kids and they are valuable three months in which my students can be motivated to learn a lot, but in the end I wish it hadn't taken me this long to get it together, because only now do I have a clear vision of the teacher that I can be, if I try. It's just unfortunate that this realization comes as a result of feeling as though I have failed those students that failed my class this marking period. As veteran teachers at Duckrey are beginning to feel as though they are winding down, there is a part of me that is geared up and so ready to try new things that I was super unprepared for before.

Back in October or November, the science teacher at Duckrey, who is a truly amazing lady and is definitely one of the reasons I didn't walk out of the school and never come back in the fall, told me that she reached February of her first year of teaching and was ready for it to end because she wanted to try all new things, to have a fresh start. I'm beginning to see EXACTLY what she meant.